Hope

Hope. That is a great word but in my past, it has gotten me in troulble. I consider myself very optimistic, hopefully, guallble, you name it. I just believed the best in people and tried my best to give the benefit of the doubt in a lot of situations. However, it taught me some hard lessons. I had an old boss to tell me that I was too trusting and that I should watch that because people are mean. She was right. And I learned not to even trust her. I had wanted to believe that there were some good in this world but for the most part I saw some misery. Now every situation was not bad but it all was matter of prespective. Then my perspective changed and I changed. I believe people were out to hurt me and no one could be trusted. This craziness spilled over into the relationship I had with my children’s father. Now he had his own moments where I should not have trusted him but I didn’t offer him a chance to show me other wise too. Thus our relationship was doomed from the start and now we don’t even speak. Too much damage and all the hope is lost. I wish i was the person that I am today during that time. Then maybe we each could have learned to learn and lean on God. Then our hope would have been restored. The overall lesson I learned is that is ok for me to hope for things and learn that if it does not work out then it is ok. And I must keep God in the midst of it all because where is hope there is faith and without faith we can not please Him.  The journey is about pleasing God. I hope that journey never ends.

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